OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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