Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
