Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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