Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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