i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
