NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
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At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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