So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
