It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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