the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
