He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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