I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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