I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
