How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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