I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
