problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
