Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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