alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
