Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
my liver is dry heaving
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
