no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
