I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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