Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Your mouth is God's brothel.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize