p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
