Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
