hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
