Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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