i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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