I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sext me about skeletons
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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