I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
