there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
