We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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