I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize