And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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