My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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