The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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