why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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