some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
