he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
