"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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