i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
