Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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