My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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