definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
