he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
you never un-have a 4some
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
