The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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