Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
