I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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