i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
