And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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