She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
