How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize