I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think my moral compass just broke
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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