I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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