We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
