Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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