I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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