What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
