I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
