actually, I'm a sock model
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm really busy with my period
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