so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
