is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
