i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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